Is your middle name fancy feast? Cause your face looks like a can of dog food

your mom: your plate is full that’s euongh food on your plate .me: my plate is not full i still see the white of the plate.

Why can’t blind people have a sea food diet?

They have to see the food to eat

Whats up with airline food?

A man had moved to a new contry with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there telling he wanted his dog to be groomed. The man behind the counter responded with “yes happy dog, come back in little hours” so the man left and came back a couple hours later when he asked about his dog he was given a box of jerky he found out “happy dog” was the name of the place where dogs become food.

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid, A banana. But if youre vegan you call him food. If youre poor you eat the skin.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food??

Niether have they.

Dark Jokes are like food, not everybody gets it.

white people: come to America, meet natives and take food, kil them, rape them and enslave them natives: can y- white people: hey you remember all that horrible shit we did to you lets have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives

your mom is so fat she ate an ipad and said ahqah! funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! and whar del with airline footd its not white and its not black and its not asain ! ?AHAH?DSF

once i ate a table… it was food consuming

What is you main food Me:pizza cause i’m cheesy Friend: Chocolate chips cause i have a lot of friends Girlfriend: donut cause i have a lot of cream

Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?

Because they can’t catch it!

Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well…Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, “No bitch !” She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew…wakes-up jumps out of bed and he’s in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, “Anything left for me Mother?” Andrew asks “Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again.” *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself “Man…I’d suck a dick for some water right now.” his mom storms back after hearing what he had said "I’ll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "

Why does the Greeks and Romans like food. Because food is good for you.

“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and…“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

What’s steven hawkings fav food WiFi chips or his shoulder

whats a orphans fav food, nothing they cant afford it

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