Food jokes
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
bröd
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.