What’s the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber 🥒
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What's the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Man, choking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
