Food jokes
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
are you serious right neow
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.