Food jokes
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
are you serious right neow
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?
Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.