What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Food Jokes
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
