Food jokes
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Memes
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”