Food jokes
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
All Nepali love momos.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.