Food jokes
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
wear sweatpants.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
Mustard
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
What do the Twin Tower survivors order from Tim Hortons? A plane bagel.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Son: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Dad: Don't know, why?
Son: Because they taste funny.