Food jokes
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
If you people find this confusing, nothing is because CHEESE IS CHEESE!!!
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.