Food jokes

Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.

Oh wait, I am.

This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

He used honeycomb.

Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.

Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!

What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?

A green bean.

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.

A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

It was a failure because:

South Americans don’t know the word “please.”

Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”

Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”

Balkans don’t know the word “give.”

Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”

Africans don’t know the word “food.”

Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”

Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

Why is there no medication in Africa?

Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

Why do vegans use blowjobs?

Because they can’t take real meat.

What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.