What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
