Food jokes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.