Food jokes
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What's Damo's favorite food?
Big slongs.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
French fries don't come from France; they come from Greece.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"