Food jokes
What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?
"Ground beef!"
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
What is an egg?
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.