Food jokes
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.