Food jokes
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house, and what do I have for dinner?
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂