Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
