Food jokes
I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger ð one wheelchair.
Why are tomatoes ð the slowest vegetable?
Because they canât ketchup.
What is a milk?
Milk!!!!
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
Why did the strawberry ð go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What did the bus driver say to the nut ðĨ?
"Where do you live?"
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
What are twinsâ favorite fruit?
Pairs ð.
You can tune a guitar, but you canât tuna fish.
What do they use in communion when they run out of bread?
Doughnuts, because they're holy.
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
Why is Mrs. Grapes ð a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!