Depressed man jokes

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?

He got to cut himself.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.

Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.

I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....