Food

Food jokes

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Milk man.

Milkman who?

Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.