I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
Food Jokes
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
Yo mama so stupid.
When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
