Fitness jokes
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Your forehead is so big a whole state could fit on it.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!