Fitness jokes
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
Memes
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Have you heard of China...
China fit this dick in your mouth.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"