Fitness jokes
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).