Fitness jokes
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! đ
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
How do chickens đ get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
Whatâs the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
Whatâs the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker âshucks between fitsâ...
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
What is Jesusâs Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole đ.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.
The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.