Fitness jokes
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?
"Want to see if it fits?"
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.