Fitness

Fitness Jokes

Tree

What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.

Barstool

How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.

Memes

Split

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

Workout

After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.

It's in my basement.

Atm

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

Seatbelt

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

Astronaut

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

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  • Stool

    Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?

    A: Flip the chair upside down.

    Wheelchair

    The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

    Doctor

    "I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

    "Will that cure me?" the patient asks.

    "Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."