Fitness

Fitness Jokes

Aish office

I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.

I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.

Now I feel like I belong.

Leak

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

Church

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

Weight

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

Cookbook

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

White

Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

Workout

After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.

It's in my basement.

Van

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

Gym

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Wheelchair

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Rapper

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!