Tree

Morbidity

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree and so she could live forever.

But it I’m not gonna lie it was a nice toasty fire…

Stairs

Anonymous

Where was stephen hawkings during the house fire… the top of the stairs

Gun

Anonymous

Why are the best used guns from France ? Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

Flag

Anonymous

we saved a Swiss flag from a house fire i thought that`s a plus

Kobe

John Doe

Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.

Hotness

joshua

wht do you call stephen hawking on fire? hot wheels!!!

Kid

Lewis

I live next to a kindergarten and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it’s me who has a drill around little children.

Light

Anonymous

What do you get when you light stephen hawking on fire. A fried pc

War

Anonymous

Apex Legends: exist Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with its self) “Everything is fine.”

Fire

Anonymous

whats stephan hawkings called on fire

hotwheels:)

Match

J0K35

What happened when the fire used Tinder?

He luckily got a lot of matches.

Die

No Search Results Found

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7 - When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the ‘bright side’ of it. She said "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome" 54 students died that day.

Bad

TheBeast

My uncle got really badly burned the other day. They don’t fuck around at the crematorium.

Roast

Peepee jokes the best ev

I was camping with my buddy and there was a fire we were roasting marrsmelows and there was a vine and tripped on it and went penis first into the fire and I said well there goes your children stupid ass

Orphan

Anonymous

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Wife

Quantum Isx

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied “I couldn’t find any” She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?

Fat

unrealnoodles

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully of him. The cop then asked the bully, “Why are you beating him up?” I responded, saying "I fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease. Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, “Well, how did I do?”

Bank

Great Britan

Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank? A: He got caught drinking on the job.

Kid

gamer

“so I was at high school one day in the bathrooms and I’m circumcised and the kid next to me wasn’t so he showed me his pp and he had a foreskin so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired…”

Cow

Anonymous

one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that’s nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis

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