Fire Jokes

I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones so I throwaway the bent ones

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire hot wheels

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, "okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "what?" As he looked over at Jim.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubbas two best friends the three were inseparable agreed.. The first friend said hard to tell can you turn him over the coroner look perplexed but did so nope that's not Bubba. The second friend said he's burnt up pretty bad can you roll him over again the coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway, nope that's not him. Pretty confused the coroner asked how can you tell its not him by rolling him over? well you see Bubba had two assholes, Impossible the coroner replied. The friends said I don't know but everytime we went to town everyone would say here comes Bubba with them to assholes.

I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

Son : "Dad, Are we pyromaniacs ?" Dad : "Yes, we arson

I Googled "How to start a Wildfire". It gave me 28,452 matches.

School was fun but it was hard almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*

Boss: You're fired. Me: *pauses porn* Why?

The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the world trade center.

A missionary was caught by cannibals. we was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it fnaf lore.

These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says " I can't stand my mother in law". The other says " so , just eat the potatoes".