Fire jokes

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

Why do candles like birthdays?

Because they can get lit!

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?

They're both hot, but they're both quiet.

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

Why does fireman wear red suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

Roses are red, my toaster too,

Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?

Be careful around fire, plastic melts.

The sun is fire.

People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?

— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

What do you call a rapper who's also a firefighter?

BLAZE RHYMES.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

What do all rangas have in common?

They all look like wildfires.