Fire jokes
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
The only thing brighter than my future is the fire on the World Trade Center.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.