Name

Delcie Sylvester

So this women had a job she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend the she lied about having corona virus then she got out of work then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend then she said i lied now we can you no water sigh lick sigh then her boss texted Ew and YOUR FIRED. one more story one day this teen named alexis got kicked out of a house then went to live with her bf then she got pregnant posted it all on social media

Smoking

I-need-to-oof

A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!”

The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”

Bar

Lil pump quavo fan 3000

Logic fire bars in fottntoe sped up to sound like he chipmmumnun like Alvin and Simoen ans z Theode :)

Microwave

RoxyWolfie

Me: I know how to use a Microwave! Also me: Mom! The Microwave is on fire!

Microwave

RoxyWolfie

Me: I know how to use a Microwave! Also me: Mom! The Microwave is on fire!

True story

High

gamer

“so I was at high school one day in the bathrooms and I’m circumcised and the kid next to me wasn’t so he showed me his pp and he had a foreskin so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired…”

Trump

Anonymous

I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks. This is God’s clock. It never moved because he never lied. This is your clock. It move 3 times because you lied 3 times i asked where is President trumps clock. he said it was at the equator. Spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true

Superman

Allan C.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: “There you are ma’am, everyone out and all safe!”

Mother: “But my children are still inside! You need to go back an–”

Superman: “Ah fuck’em…”

Dollar

Jokemongrel7

Dick, you’re fired.

I’d buy that for a dollar.

Jokemeister3

Shooting

Anonymous

So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out the classroom the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

Puns

Anonymous

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse. 2 people bought plants. 3 people bought shovels. 1 person yelled. 3 people left Bunnings Warehouse. 1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Sister

ToxicW

I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

Kid

Anonymous

why did the fire not burn the kid because it had no lips

Accident

blues clues hoe

You work at papa’s pizzaria ok?

Boss: your fired! Me: ok? Worker: Why are you fired? Me: oh you wanna know… shows him the oven with my pizza Me: I left my pizza in the oven that bitch burnt as fuck!! Worker: OH SHIT!! Boss: did you say pizza? Me: i sure did! shows boss pizza in oven Me: this hoe black as fuck! Boss: i fired you because i count stop looking at your ass not this why?

Baby

Anonymous

Q: How do you make a fire? A: Oil and dead babies

Animal

Musla

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

You set it on fire- then it goes WOOF!

Man

Anonymous

Build a man a fire he will be warm for a day, give him some tfox March and he will on fire

Puns

Anonymous

whats did the marshmellow say when he was roasting in the fire- is it hot in her or is it just me

Legs

Delcie Sylvester

One time there was a happy lil girl then one day her teacher asked how many legs and arms do a pineapple have she said girl: You know those pokey things on it thats how many Teacher says: Thats dumb they have zero. then the next day the girl set a fire in her house and then she burned her legs and arms then she survived went to school then the teacher said i heard your house went on fire and btw you know you don´t have no arms or legs right the girl said OK then the question the teacher asked yesterday asked the girl again she said what do u call a girl with no legs or arms? the teacher said ANSWER MY QUESTION the girl said OK OK the girl said 13 the teacher said PINEAPPLES DO NOT EVEN HAVE LEGS Then the teacher had to calm down then the teacher said to the girl ask a question whatever u want then the girl said ok and im sorry teacher teacher said its ok i need a break the girl said what do u call a girl without legs or arms someone from the class her name was nia she said a worm she said NO!!! the teacher said CALM DOWN JUST TELL US WHAT the girl said OK then the girl said it…And yall who is reading my story guess what the answer is before i tell u and btw the girls name is sunny back to story…she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE then when the teacher was calm she told her to sit down then the teacher read a story The Three Little pigs then the girl went home she got a new house then lived happily ever after

Poor

sub to dragons 4real

Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person me dials 911 police:what is that location me:idk where is dis location police:mission failed we will try again later me:wth police:ends call me:calls hospital hospital:what is that location me:idk where is dis location hospital:mission failed we will try again later me:WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE hospital:hangs up me:calls fire dEpArTmEnT fire:no fire dEpArTmEnT:what is that location me:hangs up and give up and goes home

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