A little chimney said: “Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I’m about to smoke!!”

The big chimney said next to him: “Well, your to young to smoke…”

I was staying over at my friends, for the purpose of the joke he shall be called kian. It was 03.00 am and everyone else was asleep when i heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it, Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge it was thought he had a huge slong. The banging was getting louder and so to was my heartbeat, i opened John’s door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked, there was a glory hole threw the wall where i could make it kians ass. This is what i have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards john. I shoved 1 inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, “you little gimp get on the bed”. Kian came in the room with a 2 litre bottle of irn bru, he demanded “what the fudge are you doing”. I replied smoothly "Kian you tracksuit warrior you have a camel toe" Kian fires back “shut it paul you have genital warts”. John screams "SHUT THE FUCK UP." He then gives us it so rough i can’t walk the next day, but feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse. 2 people bought plants. 3 people bought shovels. 1 person yelled. 3 people left Bunnings Warehouse. 1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

What’s black and sits on top of the stairs? Christopher reeves in a house fire.

Superman has been called to a huge house fire.

Superman: “There you are ma’am, everyone out and all safe!”

Mother: “But my children are still inside! You need to go back an–”

Superman: “Ah fuck’em…”

Dick, you’re fired.

I’d buy that for a dollar.


So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out the classroom the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

Fuck and sex are hot which is fire

So this women had a job she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend the she lied about having corona virus then she got out of work then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend then she said i lied now we can you no water sigh lick sigh then her boss texted Ew and YOUR FIRED. one more story one day this teen named alexis got kicked out of a house then went to live with her bf then she got pregnant posted it all on social media

Q: How do you make a fire? A: Oil and dead babies

Build a man a fire he will be warm for a day, give him some tfox March and he will on fire

whats did the marshmellow say when he was roasting in the fire- is it hot in her or is it just me

we saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree i thought i showed a lot of balls

what do you call stephen hawkling on fire? hot wheels

I’ll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man. and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can I’ll pat you, and prick you , and mark you with my "D" And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

fart <3

I will always remember my baby sisters last words.“What is the fire for?”.

What it black and at the top of the stairs

Stephen hawking’s after a fire

I had the worst day of my life, my 13 rear old EX got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard, did I mention that we were in Syria?