Fire jokes
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
can fire catch on fire?
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"
A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.
How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.