Q: Why did the chef get fired? A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.

Rose are red. Violet’s are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire

What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire? —You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.

Logic fire bars in fottntoe sped up to sound like he chipmmumnun like Alvin and Simoen ans z Theode :)

What did the iceberg say to the firefighter? Come close and i’ll knock you out cold

My aunt worked as a human cannon ball

I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and your ready to fire.

Where was stephen hawkings during the house fire… the top of the stairs

I was camping with my buddy and there was a fire we were roasting marrsmelows and there was a vine and tripped on it and went penis first into the fire and I said well there goes your children stupid ass

Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree and so she could live forever.

But it I’m not gonna lie it was a nice toasty fire…

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead. 4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What does fire and people have in common A: they will both eventually die out

What do you call steven hawkings on fire Hot wheels

Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,


Why are the best used guns from France ? Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

we saved a Swiss flag from a house fire i thought that`s a plus

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied “I couldn’t find any” She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?

Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank? A: He got caught drinking on the job.