your breath is so hot it mad the chicgo fire.
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball
I’m not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.
I was about to change my password to fire-fist ace… but apparently it was too weak.
wood fired pizza how would pizza get a job now
This 15 year old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed unfortunately it killed her dad because it fell off the wall
(Do you get the joke)
(Her dad was on her and it fell and killed him)
What’s the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don’t set the skeleton on fire.
wood fired pizza?
hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
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How do you make a cat go “woof”? … douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! “woof!”
Whats the difference between me and a bus?
Im not on fire…
Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?
A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.
What do you call steven hawkings on fire Hot wheels
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. ‘Why are you early, it is not even christmas?’
- ho, ho. Don’t worry about me. Lets worry about you instead’ says Santa. What is the problem my friend?’
- I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i’ll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Give a man fire and he’ll be warm for a day set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life
Rose are red. Violet’s are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.
Person 1: Hey did you here about the circus fire? Person 2: No. Person 1: it was in-tents