Fire Jokes

my grandma always said, slow and steady wins the race. she died in a fire.

Instead of the line 'This girls on fire', my friend can relate to 'The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the fuck out'

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids when he came out the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire , they called him hot wheels

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.

Did you know that Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire

Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now

Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me

I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

What is the difference between me and a fire

Its hot

my friend was in a wheel chair so i rolled him in fire now i call him hot wheels

yo mama so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's

Rose are red. Violet's are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire

How to commit arson 1. Burn down an orphanage

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down? Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Once my friends bakery burned down...His business is toast.

ENTER PASSWORD.

WRONG.

RESET PASSWORD.

NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.

sets fire to computer

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

Helicopter, Helicopter Kobe Bryant in my chopper Sitting next to burning daughter Lots of smoke and little laughter

What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire HOTWHEELS

Whats the difference between me and a bus?

Im not on fire...

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.