Fire jokes
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.