I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside. Thankfully I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet? At least when a bullet kills someone it’s actually fired
This isn’t much of a joke but pickup line ok it’s this. Are you a marshmallow because I wanna put my stick in u
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out hotwheels
The only thing brighter then my cuter is the fire on the twin towers
whats the difference between a bear with a gun and an American Man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it
What does Kobe and the Twin towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing
Wow that was explosive!
Man I'm on fire 🔥 today
What is the difference between cremation and smoking? while you are smoking you don't go up in smoke
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
What did the tower say to the other? "Man, someone's on fire today! "
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog
whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo a hippo is really heavy a zippo is a little lighter
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Why are the best used guns from France ? Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage and she burnt it down luckily she don't have to tell there parents
I got a job at a library once, i got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Your so much like a marshmallow, your so squishy and sticky and everyone puts their sticks inside of u
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
well i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fire
