I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! π£π£π£π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, donβt do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
With their FIRE LYRICS!
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and heβs mad. I got fired...
