Fire jokes

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

What did the fox say to the fire?

You look hot!

Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.

How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!

Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.

Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

What happened when the fire used Tinder?

He luckily got a lot of matches.

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.

Apex Legends: exists.

Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."

"Dick, you're fired."

"I'd buy that for a dollar."

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

With their FIRE LYRICS!