Fire jokes

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

With their FIRE LYRICS!

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.

Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.

My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.

Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.

What did Rengoku say to his class?

"Set your school ablaze!"

How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"

How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?

He only took a day off.

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.

What did the fox say to the fire?

You look hot!

Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇