Fire jokes
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What did Rengoku say to his class?
"Set your school ablaze!"
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
Memes
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How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.
Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.
My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.
Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
I set a gay person on fire. We now call him LGBBQ.
Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
With their FIRE LYRICS!
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.