Two Friends are in a hospital in the lobby, Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying. Friend 1 "*crying hysterically*" Friends 2 "why are you crying?" Friend 1 "I came here for a blood test" Friend 2 "So? are you afraid?" Friend 1 "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger." Friend 2 "*crying hysterically*" Friend 1 "why are you crying?" Friend 2 "I came here for a urine test."
r u a bowling ball cause i want to stck 3 fingers in u
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks 😂
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove? So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
my life
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger 'a minor'
You use your legs as support you count on your fingers
When your at school and you have to wipe your ass but it only one ply... Your finger breaks through... mmm Finger lickin good
Playing a game called 7-up. Student- why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers? Teacher- it's cheating! Student- No! it's the object of the game.
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Did yo uhear about Hellen Keller falling down the well? She screamed her little fingers off
you look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if i give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What is opposite of a lady fingers?
Answer: Mentos
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?" "For fingering a minor" Ahaha so funny
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not HOLDING any fingers.
apparently imma category for jokes now. hmm... ok! #HOMIEZ4Life
P.S. Say "crack my finger", now say it backwords:)