You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger gun.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
