Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
A pedophile is at a School Parent night. He's holding hands with a Eight year old Girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him oh what a darling little girl you have there. The Pedophile replies no then points his finger to a child across the room and says that's my child.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Me: *looks at persons hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
What's a lesbians favorite weapon? A fingers gun
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
