Fat jokes

Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!

Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

You're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller.

If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

He's fat!

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.

Harrison

Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.

Yo momma so fat, when she went for a health consultation, the doc told her to make do with health insurance.

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Aitana is so fat that Thanos had to clap for her to disappear.

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.