Fat jokes
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
My mate Noha.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Yo momma is so fat that the ground shakes a lot as she walks.