Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Yo Momma's Orbital Storage Solution(s)
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, dummy. You clearly ain't never taken a physics class. Yo momma so massive, her gravitational pull creates Lagrangian points, spots in space where objects can stay put relative to her. Instead of carryin' a backpack, she just stashes her stuff in orbit around her. Get it now, Einstein?