Failure jokes

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

Cleveland Browns

That joke didn't land well, did it?

What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?

A Disap point ment.

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!

When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

Joke: Why did the gym close down?

– It just didn’t work out.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

How to get into politics?

Fail art school.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

They call me an elevator because I let people down.

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...