Failure jokes

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

That joke didn't land well, did it?

What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?

A Disap point ment.

Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!

When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

Joke: Why did the gym close down?

– It just didn’t work out.

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

How to get into politics?

Fail art school.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.

They call me an elevator because I let people down.

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.