The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Cleveland Browns
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
