Failure jokes
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
Shit, I’m never gonna try to commit suicide again. I almost died!
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
People wear chokers, and I'm a choker too, because I tried to choke myself 6 times.
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
They call me an elevator because I let people down.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.