Failure jokes

What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?

They sync properly.

If at first you don't succeed,

Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

My life is the joke.

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

I always hit on 16, then get busted.

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

what's the worst thing to say to an emo?

if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

Cleveland Browns