Failure jokes

I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

I always hit on 16, then get busted.

What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?

They sync properly.

If at first you don't succeed,

Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.

My life is the joke.

Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

They say the first time doesn't work, third time's the charm. Ha, not!

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

what's the worst thing to say to an emo?

if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.

Cleveland Browns