Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
I went to the store, and yeah...
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
My life.
What do you get from childhood drama? A ginger with autism.
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
Have a great day today!
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.
