Experience jokes

You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?

But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.

Karolien's life.

Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.

Wanna hear a funny joke?

John's life.

Random couple after their first night:

Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?

Wife: ☠️

There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

Life's full of ups and downs :D <3

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.

Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.