Experience jokes

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...

I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.

His life.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Yeah, not too bad at all, really.

What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?

The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.

I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.

I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!

Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.

Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!

The three unwritten rules of life: 1. 2. 3.

I hate my life.

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Ouch!

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.

Life's full of ups and downs :D <3

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

Dark humor is like life:

Not everyone gets it.