me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh
me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work...
He’s a suicide bomber.
what happens when the president turns emo? the great depression
Hi I am back! Tell me what’s happing
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
What happened to the blind man's son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
“what happened to ur arm?” “oh uh.. i became a gacha emo”
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence
Udder destruction
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
What happens when a clock is hungry It goes back four seconds.
What happens when Stephen hawking dies? The windows shutdown sound plays.
