The 20+ Best Encounter Jokes

"Hey, today was great."

"What happened?"

"I ran into my ex today."

"What's so great about that?"

"I was in my car."

2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."

I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40 year old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said "My turn!".

Radiohead had to remake Fake Plastic Trees after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.

I wish my name was Voyager 2... So I could have the first encounter with Uranus. :)

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just viben, he was telling ever guy that walked by if his dick was bigger then theirs they have to give him 50 bucks long story short I walked away with 100 bucks that day

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today? Person 2: “Seven” Person: 1: “What the fuck dude..” Person 2: “I know right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.” (Based on an encounter I had recently)

I ran into a dwarf and he said: “Well, I’m not happy”.. Me: Then which one are you?

I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became... - flip screen (=).

Somebody told me to go to hell so I walked up to Donald Trump.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun but the emo kid dissapears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked If I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt and he disappeared. Shame on you Penaldo.

One day I was on my phone then I got a text message from my Girl Friend, "Hey Sexy boy wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean..." then I just stopped and froze I read the message I said, "Yeah sure..." she replied really fast, "Theres going to be a few people there ok." but i didn't read the next message... she said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." but i didn't read it I walked into her house but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise and it sounded like HER!! so I hide behind the couch and I looked through the open door and saw somthing I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."

So she took me to her place.

She took out her keys

opens her door

turn on the light

and she yells towards upstairs

"Mom, are you still awake?”

What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet? -- The Captain's Log.

Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company. Probably top. Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.