Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Anyone remember the following?
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
