Every Jokes

Why do emo people go to the store with no money?

Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.

Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?

No, well neither has he.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.

Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.

tim

A meme with a sunset background, silhouettes of giraffes and a bare tree. Text at the top says "Did you know?" and text at the bottom says "Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes."

Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.

Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?

A sissy.

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.