Every jokes

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?

A sissy.

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.