Every Jokes

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?

Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.

In the "Drake Posting" meme format, Drake expresses his disapproval of deleting a song from a playlist. In the second image, Drake approves of keeping a song but skipping it every time it plays.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.

It's a good thing I'm married.

Your hairline is so far back that you have four faces to wash every day.

Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.