Every jokes

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."

Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Every Cobra Kai joke that was made, it's just me.

What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?

They all produce horrible shit.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.