Every jokes

"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

"You getting kicked out, bro?"

"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

"Is she one of them woke bitches?"

In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.

What did the cow say every morning?

Good moorning!

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?

Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on Trump's wall 24 hours every day.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.

Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.