Every jokes

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

Why don't Indians play baseball?

Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.

"My wife is so crazy," said Beatem's McSmasher.

"Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch.

"She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!"

"You getting kicked out, bro?"

"Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor."

"Is she one of them woke bitches?"

In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.

After every line, say “I’m a man.”

I went to the club. (I’m a man)

I met a girl. (I’m a man)

I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)

We got some drinks. (I’m a man)

I took her home. (I’m a man)

We got in bed. (I’m a man)

She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)

Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.

What did the cow say every morning?

Good moorning!

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?

Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.

If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.

Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on Trump's wall 24 hours every day.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.