Every jokes

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

I found a key that works for every door at my school.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because his mom and dad are in every episode!

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Why does Tesco like midgets?

Every little helps.

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.