Every jokes

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Why don't Indians play baseball?

Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.

The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.

You know Africans don’t get seconds.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.