Every jokes

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

How does the cheetah do in every race?

It’s always a cheetah.

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.

You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!

Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.