Every jokes

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.

Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.

You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

How does the cheetah do in every race?

It’s always a cheetah.

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

How to get your joke on every category? Michael Jackson, towers, morbid, emo, school, short, penis, sects, little Jonny.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"

Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.

Kid: Why?

Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)