Every jokes
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬