Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
Every Jokes
How do you break an orphan's wall in their room in the orphanage?
Tell them to put a tally on the wall with a pen for every second their parents are missing.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Every 911 joke isn't that good.
Well, at least not until they come crashing down.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
Hi, my name is Unknown Guy! Please join my group for the picture I show you, we will do this every week!
Thanks, leave a comment or sign in using the sign in sheet that I have in Google Forms or own the website.
Hint: Pictures of woman.
Btw, for men only!
Yo mama is so fat that every step she takes in the ocean creates a tsunami!
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, Iโd be more broke than the rap haters.
Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.
Which freedom fighter do we say "good morning" every day?
Answer: Subah Chandra Bose.
"Subah" means morning.
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.
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