Every jokes
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.