My heart is like a plane. It crashes every once in a while.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company. Probably top. Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes? Me: Make every word 4 letters long. Geni: Wish Gran. Meee: Make every word star with "br". Brni: Brsh Bran. Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh" Bruh: Bruh bruh Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh Bruh: Bruh bruh
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did every one suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything
guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I'm a man guy:you meet a girl person: I'm a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel\ person: I'm a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I'm a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I'm a man
Why do tell actors to "break a leg"? Because every play has a cast.
Why don’t Chinese people model because it would look like the same model every time
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player but he still can’t defeat Cancer!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.
Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6AM but wake up at 7AM. And it's not even a joke.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog A cat has 9 lives and a frog croaks every day
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck, every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
