Every jokes
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3