Every jokes

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Why’s BBC called BBC?

The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

Africa has every type of gun but one...

A water gun.

Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?

Because every Lidl helps.

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)