Every jokes
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.