Every jokes
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
A person in NYC is shot every 5 minutes. Poor guy!
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?