Event jokes
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
The wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered Domino's and got "gets".
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon!
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
How do you plan a party in outer space?
You planet.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.