Ethics jokes
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best cum.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!