A man goes into Heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa’s clock, it has never moved because she has never lied."
"There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice."
"Where is Donald Trump’s?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
The world is a freaking rape joke.
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
There should be a "kick an orphan" day.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
