What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
What is a pedophiles favourite age range? 9 11
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
