Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
I should probably stop making abortion jokes.
After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Remember kids.
Killing an AISH worker is a victimless crime.
It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
It's not incest if you're adopted.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
