Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
